If you’re a parent preparing for divorce who has a history of substance abuse, you may be concerned that your spouse could use that history against you – even if you have been in recovery for multiple years. While your soon-to-be ex might seem amenable to a shared custody arrangement now, you might be concerned that they’ll change their mind as the divorce progresses.
If your co-parent does use your history with alcohol and/or drugs to make their case for getting sole or primary custody of your children, whether out of true concern or to “get back” at you for something, how can you convince the court that you are a responsible parent who is committed to your sobriety?
What factors will a judge consider?
A judge will need to consider any instances in which you neglected, endangered or harmed your children. Certainly, any documented involvement by law enforcement for domestic violence, driving under the influence (especially with a child in the vehicle) or other serious offenses can prevent you from getting custody. However, any instance where a child was or could have been harmed because you were under the influence and not looking out for their safety will be considered. You can expect family, friends, neighbors and others to potentially testify about anything they’ve witnessed.
A judge will also consider how long you’ve been in recovery and whether you’ve had any relapses. If you can show that you are in therapy, a group like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or otherwise getting regular outside support and have people who can testify to that, you’ll be in a stronger position. Depending on your children’s ages and wishes, they may be allowed to testify as well.
You may be required to undergo random or regular alcohol or drug testing to get and maintain custody rights. Regardless of how you feel about that, it can improve your chances of being awarded more time with your children.
Custody orders can always be modified
If you and your co-parent can’t agree to a custody arrangement and a judge has to hand down a decision, remember that it’s not permanent. If you’re still in the early months of recovery and aren’t happy with how much parenting time and responsibility you’re allowed, you can seek to modify the custody order later as long as you no longer use drugs or alcohol.
For now, you’ll want to make the strongest possible case for why it’s in your children’s best interests for you to be in their lives. Having experienced legal guidance can make all the difference.