Divorce can be a very stressful affair. If you have children together, one of your greatest concerns would be how you are going to break the news to them, and this is understandable. After all, the last thing you want is for your children to learn about this significant development from a third party.
Basically, how you break the news about your divorce to the children depends on their ages. That said, here are three tips that can help navigate this difficult subject:
1. Talk about it together
However uncomfortable you feel about your spouse, it is prudent that you have this conversation together. From the very onset, your children need to know that they are loved by both parents. They need to be assured that while you will no longer be together, you remain their parents and will always be there for them. There is no better way to demonstrate this than by having this conversation together as a family.
2. Be honest, but keep it age-appropriate
Using age and personality-appropriate language, try to explain what your divorce means to them and you. Of course, you don’t have to go into the details of what leads to divorce. However, it’s crucial that they understand what is going on as well as the practical implications of their parents’ divorce.
Control your emotions
Divorce can be an emotionally charged undertaking. However, while having a conversation with the children, be sure to focus on them rather than your emotions and anger. Remember, how you steer this conversation will have a profound impact on how they will cope with the divorce, too. Even if you feel justified, avoid blame games or showing hatred toward the other parent.
Divorce is a significant life event for everyone involved. Understanding how to communicate this development to your children can help them build the emotional stamina they need to cope with it.