One of the most difficult things for children to do when their parents get divorced is learning how to live a life that involves moving between the two homes. This is a major change that can lead to stress, particularly if the parents aren’t taking steps to mitigate the challenges.
Each child has different needs, which can mean that using a multifaceted approach may be beneficial for the situation. These tips are often a good starting point for parents who are facing this situation with their children.
Give them time to adjust
Children need time to adjust as they move from one house to the other. Parents can start preparing them in advance by having a countdown to the transition day. Once the handover happens, the parent who has the child should keep things calm and give them time to process the day. They may be feeling sad to leave one parent and happy to see the other parent, which can be confusing for them.
Keep the expectations consistent
Consistent expectations are important. If possible, both parents should have the same major rules. This may include things like bedtime or chores. It may be tempting to go easy on the children, but that can make things more difficult for them. Instead, establish the rules and expectations from the start.
Establish new traditions
New traditions may help the children as they adjust. These don’t have to be extravagant or costly. They can be as simple as hot chocolate and movies on the night they get to the new home. The goal is to give them something to look forward to and create positive memories.
It may also be beneficial to have the parenting plan set up in a way that meets the best interests of the children. Working with someone familiar with these matters may make things a little easier.