Leaving a marriage is never easy, even when it is the right choice. While people often assume the one who initiates a divorce is confident and ready to move on, that is hardly the full story. You may carry guilt, doubt and grief that no one sees, especially if your ex did not want the marriage to end.
Maybe you left because of emotional neglect, repeated arguments or simply because you felt lost. But even with valid reasons, you might still feel like the “bad guy.” This guilt can be isolating, especially when others expect you to be fine or even relieved.
Moving on can feel heavy
Truthfully, guilt does not always go away after signing the papers. It can follow you into your daily life, your parenting and your friendships. You can deal with the emotional weight of leaving by:
- Acknowledging your feelings: Feeling sad, guilty or confused is okay. Allow yourself to grieve, even if you were the one who called off the relationship. Suppressing emotions only makes healing harder.
- Reminding yourself of the “why”: Go back to the reasons you left. Maybe you journaled or talked to a therapist. Revisit those moments to stay grounded in the truth of your decision.
- Avoiding the urge to overcompensate: You might feel like you need to “make up for it” by being overly kind or giving in during disagreements. Instead, set healthy boundaries and be fair to yourself and your ex.
- Talking to someone who understands: Whether a counselor or a close friend, having a safe space to talk without judgment can make a big difference.
- Letting go of needing everyone’s approval: People will have opinions and some may judge you. That is their story, not yours. Focus on healing, not explaining.
You made a hard decision for your well-being that almost certainly deserves respect, not shame. If guilt overwhelms you, seeking legal guidance can help you to protect yourself while you’re working toward peace and closure.