It’s not easy to go through a divorce at any time of the year, but divorcing shortly before or during the holiday season can be extra tough. Not only are you dealing with legal and emotional challenges, but there are social expectations that may weigh heavily on your mind.
How do you navigate all of this and still feel any of the peace, togetherness and joy that the season is supposed to bring? You need a plan. Here are some tips.
Acknowledge the emotions
You may struggle with feelings of grief and frustration at this time of year, especially if you find yourself cut out of some festivities that you’re used to attending with your spouse. It’s okay not to be overly “merry” all the time – but you need an outlet. Talk to a therapist, a close confidant or a trusted relative about your feelings. This will help you keep them in check at the gatherings you do attend. If the feelings get overwhelming, it’s perfectly acceptable to decline invitations or leave events early.
Practice boundary settings
People are inherently curious, so you can expect at least a few of those around you to ask questions about your divorce that may feel intrusive or inappropriate to the occasion. Practice saying things like, “It’s sad, but I don’t want to discuss that right now. I’m sure you understand.” You have the right to preserve your peace – and the festive mood – at holiday gatherings.
Create new traditions
If you always spent Thanksgiving with your in-laws or had a Christmas Eve tradition with your spouse, those days may feel especially difficult for you. Don’t hole up in your home to avoid coping, however. Make new traditions – whether that means calling up a friend and wrangling an invitation to their house for the feast or taking yourself out to dinner.
Ultimately, experienced legal guidance can help you get through your divorce, and dealing with the holidays will get easier with time.