As much as you may prefer to keep your home and work lives separate, there’s no question that a divorce is going to upset both worlds.
You’re eventually going to have to let a few people at your job know what’s happening – if only to arrange time off to attend meetings or hearings. There’s a right way and a wrong way, however, to handle the situation. Here are some tips that will allow you to maintain maximum professionalism:
Let your boss and human resources department know
Your boss and your human resource departments can actually be invaluable sources of information and support during this time.
Your boss needs to know so that you can ask for reasonable accommodations when it comes to scheduling your work around mediation sessions or litigation. Let your boss know that you want to minimize the disruption to your work and ask if you can establish a plan for the time off you may need.
Your human resources department can give you the information you’ll need to disclose during the proceedings about your pension, health insurance, life insurance and disability plans. Make sure that you find out what procedures to follow when it comes time to update your tax information and insurance coverage after the divorce is final.
Decide in advance what you will – and will not – say about the situation
You are under no obligation to tell your co-workers anything about your divorce, but it can avoid a lot of emotional pain or awkward conversations when someone asks, “How’s your wife?” or “Is your husband looking forward to your vacation?” in casual conversations. In addition, knowing that you’re going through a divorce may ease any tensions created by your sudden or frequent absences that would otherwise be unexplained.
It’s okay to give your co-workers the basics – and that means telling them simply that your marriage is ending and you’re working through things. It does not mean telling them that your spouse cheated on you or other sordid details. Stress that you’ve worked out flexible scheduling with the boss and that you won’t be abandoning your work to others. That steers the conversation back to work – where it belongs.
Legal guidance can help you navigate the rest of your divorce as effectively as possible, with minimal disruptions to your career.