Some things in life are worth fighting for. If you sign up for that theory, then fighting over divorce and custody might seem logical. After all, what could be more important than your well-being and your kids?
While you certainly should not roll over and give your spouse everything they want concerning property division and custody, it’s crucial to realize that conflict has its downsides. You need to be firm but fair when making your demands.
How will fighting hurt your kids?
Your kids might have seen you arguing over the bill with a restaurant manager, shouting at a dumb driver who cut you up, or refusing to give in to your employer’s ridiculous requests. They might have found it uncomfortable or embarrassing. Yet, none of those incidents will scar them as much as seeing you argue with their other parent. You are the people they love and rely on the most, so seeing you tearing chunks out of each over will do a lot of damage, especially if you are fighting over them.
The hangover from your divorce battles could also make co-parenting difficult for years, inhibiting your ability to do what is best for your child. So again, they lose out.
How will conflict harm you?
While there is sometimes a high during an argument, an almighty crash typically follows it. You end up feeling lousy about the things you said about each other.
Raising the temperature may also encourage your spouse to dig in over things they were previously willing to compromise on. That makes it more challenging to get the outcomes you need.
Getting legal help to negotiate your divorce needs firmly and fairly will benefit you and your children.